Choo-choo

 Jason was snowboarding in Utah (again) this past weekend and I knew I needed to plan some fun outings for the kids so that we didn't drive each other crazy.  Friday Jayden had a birthday party, so I took Maddox and Kylie to Marley Farms for their V-day event.  I purposely didn't bring my camera because I feel like so many times I miss out on the "moment" because I am spending more time behind the camera than I am actually enjoying the event.  Of course I ended up regretting not bringing it because we had so much fun and I wish I had the pictures to remember it by (not to mention that the zonkey, camel, kangaroos and the genetically mutated giant cow and pig were definately picture worthy). The next day Kylie went to the movies with her friends so I took the boys to the AZ Railway Museum and it was the perfect fit.  We spent all morning exploring every nook and cranny of all these old trains, it was every little boys dream and this time I have more than enough pictures to remember it by!  I really enjoyed spending some one on one (plus Maddox) time with the kids.



That's what I get

I admit it.  I was a bit cocky when it came to potty training.  Kylie and Jayden were both so easy and of course I gave myself all the credit.  A couple months after they turned two, I took them to the store to pick out their favorite princess and Thomas undies, picked up a bag of their favorite candy and plenty of juice to keep their bladders nice and full. For about three days I would let them down a whole sippy cup of juice then put them on the toilet a half hour later, read them stories give them treats and wah-lah--potty training for dummies.  I just read back in my blog book about Jayden, I started on a Tuesday and by Friday he was completely out of diapers and had only had one accident.  I always assumed it was the parents who were failing if their child refused to potty train.  And of course it's only natural to assume that my potty training prowess would transfer onto my third child, but that is definately not the case.  The last couple of days I've had him parked in front of the tv on his little potty (thanks for the idea, Nicole :) loaded with snacks, his snuggles and Little Einsteins.  No matter how long he sits on that potty without any success, the second I put that diaper on him he pees in it.  My ego has been bruised and I am ready to hang up his undies and call it quits for atleast the next 6 months.

Twins, or not

I realized that in the past 2 years, 3 months and 18 days that I've had two boys, I have never dressed them in matching clothes.  Two weeks ago I finally got them matching church clothes, for two weeks I've attempted to dress them like twins and for two weeks we've failed. The first week Maddox spilled chocolate milk all over his white shirt so the next week I waited to put his shirt on until right before it was time to go, but somehow within those 5 minutes he managed to find a tube of blue paint that he used to paint not only his shirt, but the bathroom too.  I have yet to see them wearing their matching clothes to church, and this picture may be the closest I'll ever get.  Thank goodness for bleach.

Guilt and inspiration

"Parents, remember that now is your opportunity.  You may feel yourself harassed as you struggle through the days with children, but you are living the happiest and the most golden years of your life. As you tuck them into their beds at night, please be kind to them.  Let them hear a calm voice amid all the angry, vile voices they will hear throughout life.  Let there be an anchor to which these little ones can turn when all else fails.  The Lord help you so to do...."

-Harold B. Lee

I can't count how many times I've gone into their rooms to tuck them in after they've fallen asleep and then immediately went into my room with a guilty conscience and prayed for forgiveness for screaming at them all day long. I came across this quote a couple of days ago and it has been on my mind ever since.  I thought tonight was an appropriate time to post it, considering I lost it (again) with my kids at bedtime.A while ago I remember reading a talk that was geared towards mothers.  It gave the suggestion that instead of feeling overwhelmed and helpless, that you start by focusing on one part of the day that you struggle the most with.  The lady giving the talk said her hard time was buckling the young kids in the car, when they arch their backs and cry.  She focused on just that one aspect and made a conscious effort to stay calm and turn it into a positive experience.  I thought that was so simple, yet such a great idea.  There are so many times throughout the day that I snap, but I narrowed it down to the top three: the morning rush, homework time and bedtime and I've really been trying to be more patient during those times. It takes alot of work, but I want them to always feel like our home is a safe haven from the outside world and I know that yelling at them is not the way to create that kind of an environment. With bedtime I've been reading with each of them then we alternate every other night with "talk times" where we just chat for a little bit about whatever is on their mind.  After the whole half hour routine you would think they would feel sufficiently loved, but they keep coming out of their rooms and that's when I lose it. I know losing my temper will always be a constant struggle, so I'm grateful for reminders like these.

The flexibility report

Kylie has always been interested in gymnastics, but between dance and soccer we haven't found the time for her to take classes.  She decided to skip dance this time around and has been so excited about her new tumbling class.  She's only been twice, but if practice really does make perfect then she'll be a pro in no time at all.  I have a real concern that the ceiling is going to crack from all the handsprings she does up in her rooom when she's supposed to be going to bed, even during our cold spell she has been out on the trampoline and lawn perfecting her round-offs and she doesn't hesitate to show anyone and everyone her splits.  She's built like a natural gymnast and has got an enthusiasm that will take her far!  Go Ky!!

 \

Na-Na

Is it just me, or does Maddox dominate this blog?  I used to feel guilty that he really was my favorite but I think he steals the spotlight just because he's home with me all day.  He's been really naughty lateley though, so he has dropped in the ranks (in the past 24 hrs he dumped out an entire bottle of shampoo I had just bought that day, then pulled every book off the shelf while I was cleaning that up, then crushed up dishwasher tablets all over the floor while I was cleaning that up.  He also pulled everything out of the kitchen cupboard so that he could put his toys in there instead, mopped the bathroom floor with dirty toilet water and the toilet brush and tried to flush game pieces down the toilet. This has greatly affected his "favorite" status).  Despite being rotten, I still kind of like him and he still knows how to melt my heart, so here are the latest Na-Na musings....

Jayden has finally come to terms that Maddox is sticking around for good and has decided that it's okay to actually play with him on occasion.  They love playing trains together and secretly I think Jayden enjoys reminiscing about his own Thomas crazed days (even though he is adament that Thomas is for babies).  The other day I found them snuggled up reading stories while waiting for carpool.  I knew deep down he really did love Maddox, some days it's just harder to tell then others. He is still in Kylie's good graces and I'm surprised and happy to see how well they play together.  He calls her "Ky mom". (speaking of Jayden, I just overheard him playing in the toy room with his Muslim friend.  When he was about to break his lego castle he said, "just because you don't celebrate Christmas, doesn't mean you can break my Christmas present!" Ha, ha. Oh dear.)

I have decided Maddox is a little OCD.  He becomes obsessed with random objects and has to carry them around every minute of every day, sleep with them and even calls out for them in the middle of the night if they get lost in the sea of blankets.  It was the "chocolate boats" (brown door stoppers from grandma's house) for a long time, then there's always the random favorite cars or trains (I think the world stood still for the 3 days that his "baby Thomas" was left at the dentist's office), but lately it has been dice.  He has dumped out all the games in search of every dice that he can find (he hit the jackpot with Yahtzee).  I have to keep a steady stash hidden away for those midnight emergencies when he has dropped one on the side of the bed.

He said his very first prayer the other day.  We were having a mid afternoon Fruity Pebbles craving and as we sat down to eat he reminded me that we needed "prayer" and then folded his arms and proceeded with this: "father...food...Thomas...Percy....blue train car...red train car, right here (and points to it)....amen!"  He also makes me laugh whenever he hears Rhianna's "What's my name?" song, he gets so excited and calls it the Na-Na song ("oh Na Na, what's my name, oh Na Na...").  I also love when he talks, he pronunciates each word: "guess. what. mom", "be. quiet. Gi-Gi.", "try. again.", "play. with. Na Na.", "show.you."...  He may be naughty, but that boy definately knows cute!

Like father like son

I always knew Jayden got his competitive edge from Jason, but this science fair project solidified my suspicions.  When the sheet came home instructing each student to create a boat out of tinfoil and tape to be used in a contest to see which boat would hold the most marbles, I knew this was right up Jason's ally.  If it were up to me, I would have made a cute little sailboat with an adorable little flag.  Jason and Jayden, on the other hand, spent hours researching tinfoil boats on youtube (who knew, huh?) and making prototypes.  When the day of reckoning came, Jason was just as excited as Jayden.  He kept calling me to see if Jayden had gotten home from school yet to see if his boat won and sure enough, 170 marbles later their little tinfoil boat was the reigning champion of Mrs. Moore's kindergarten class. I can only imagine what the pine wood derby years are going to be like. It was cute to see them bond over this little project and I know if Jayden can channel that competitve spirit into the right direction then he'll accomplish alot in his life, just like his dad (I can't help but brag about Jason too, he works so hard at his job and it pays off-and it's not only because he's Chinese and all that affirmative action junk.  He has earned so much respect, continually gets top ratings and is up for an early promotion.  I'm so proud of my boys.  Although family game night can get a little ugly sometimes. 

Best buddies

For a while now Maddox has been talking to my belly button.  He'll drive cars and trains all over it and show the baby his favorite toys. He'll lay his little head on my ever growing baby bump and give it hugs and kisses.  He'll tell me the baby is tired and bring me his favorite snuggles to cover my belly with. I always wonder what he really thinks when I tell him there's a baby in my tummy.

 Today I was showing him the ultrasound picture and he got so excited and told me the baby wanted to play trucks and he pushed the picture around in the back of the truck for a few minutes before he said it was tired and snuggled the picture up.  The novelty wore off a few minutes after that, but I'm so glad I captured their first little play date.  Heavenly Father must have known something I didn't when he decided to send another little boy instead of a girl.  These two boys are going to be the best of buddies, I can't wait!

I told you so

Jason and I had this on going debate the whole month before Christmas.  We knew the safety hazard swingset had to go.  Besides awkwardly leaning at a 45 degree angle to the left, the missing boards and exposed nails were just one big lawsuit waiting to happen.  I thought we should get a new swingset, for the obvious reasons...it's fun for all ages because not only can Maddox play on it but of course when they're 12 years old their friends will still be dying to come over and play on the monkey bars, right?  Jason thought it was time we advanced to the trampoline stage of life but I had visions of Maddox and his fabulous hair getting bounced all over and hurt with the big kids, and emergency trips to the ER with broken bones. The kids sided with Jason so a trampoline it was. Sometimes Jason is right and this time I'll admit it.  Not only do the kids love it, but the entire neighborhood loves it AND they even let Maddox jump with them too. Watching them out the window today just put a smile on my face. I have a lot to be grateful for and today the trampoline that I was so adamantly against just happens to be at the top of the list. I love living in a neighborhood with so many kids their age.  I love that Kylie doesn't think she's too cool to let Jayden and his friends tag along.  I love this gorgeous weather.  I love that they stay outside from the minute they come home from school until the sun goes down.  When they're not in the back yard jumping then I LOVE that all the kids in the cul-de-sac come out and play on the greenbelt.  At any given time there will be around 15 kids out there riding scooters, playing football, chasing each other, making up dances and playing games (I tried to take a picture of them all out there one day, but I didn't want to emberass Kylie so instead I tried taking it from my upstairs window but I decided I looked like a creepy neighbor with my zoom lens peaking through the blinds snapping pictures of kids, so I decided against it).  I've always imagined a neighborhood like this for my kids to grow up in.  Grateful.  Very Grateful.

Saturday hike

I am emberassed to admit that this is the first time I've done any "real" exercise this entire pregnancy.  I was doing so good about running and getting into shape, but as soon as I peed on that stick I felt justified in doing absolutely nothing.  Now that the morning sickness is looooong gone, I still prefer sitting on the couch eating an entire can of salt & vinegar pringles (sorry Jay, I know I bought those for your lunch) over any type of physical activity. I won't even admit that 2 days after my failed attempt at potty training (urrrggh, the others were so easy!) the entire bag of starbursts that I bought for bribes was completely empty (considering that it was a failed attempt, you are safe in assuming it wasn't Maddox eating them all).  Oops, I guess I did just admit that, maybe now I can be more accountable.  Anyways...when I was pregnant with Maddox I went to the gym religiously and was a regular on the front row of the spin class right up until the week I gave birth.  This time I am feeling so lazy and really need to get moving and enjoy the beautiful weather outside.  I decided a family hike was the perfect way to do that, so we filled up the kids' Camelbacks, packed some snacks and called up our favorite hiking buddies.  Every year Jayden complains less and less about how tired he is and how much he hates hiking, this time he was even the leader of the pack, it was so nice.

 Maddox on the other hand was not so easy.  He's outgrown the hiking back pack, but can't manage it on his own so lucky for Jason he had an exceptionally good workout lugging an extra 30 lbs up the mountain.  At first he insisted on walking by himself and at one point I looked back to see him about 20 feet behind us standing with the saddest look on his face saying "Na-Na far, far away...." (he calls himself Na-Na).

 We finally made it to the top and the view never disappoints.  Don't worry, they're not sitting at the edge of a steep cliff.  They're only sitting at the edge of a semi-steep cliff, but it made such a cute picture that I figured I could sacrifice their safety long enough to snap a picture.

 It was so cute to see them all hold hands as they were going down the rocky parts.  As cute as this picture is, it makes me mad when I look at it because it reminds me that I almost fell while taking the picture and as Jason saw his pregnant wife and unborn child nearly slip on the rocks, the first thing out of his sweet little mouth was, "be careful, don't break the camera!"  It's okay, I know he loves me in his own way.  Ha ha!

It was such a great way to spend our Saturday and from that day forth I vowed to start exercising more.  That was a week and a half ago and so far I have ridden my bike one time to the park that's a half mile away and I was winded by the time I got there.  Oh it's going to be so fun shedding these pregnancy pounds.

Baby #4

I know, I know, all ultrasound pictures look the same.  But this is one mighty fine looking fetus if I do say so myself.  He has the cutest little nose.  While we're on the subject, that's an awfully beautiful uterus too, it looks so cozy warm.

honey bear

One of my favorite things right now is Maddox and his honey bear.  It's his favorite treat, he stands in the pantry begging for "honey bear" then he opens his mouth like a little baby bird, cocks his head back, closes his eyes and waits for it to drip in his mouth.  He gets a huge grin on his face and asks for more, and of course it's so cute so I keep giving him more until I worry he's going to get a honey over dose. 



And then he gets mad because I can't aim while looking through the lens and I keep getting it all over his mouth, and then he rubs it in his eyes and hair, and then he cries and it drips out of his mouth onto the cuboard, and then he sits in it, and then I realize how much I hate cleaning up sticky honey.



big boy

He learned to peddle his trike.  He still prefers pushing along with his feet because it's faster, but gosh darn he can do it and he's one step closer to big boyhood.  And one step closer to getting potty trained, and one step closer to sleeping in a big boy bed, and one step closer to going to kindergarten, and one step closer to driving, and one step closer to graduating, and one step closer to going on a mission, and one step closer to getting married....darn that Santa, why did he have to give him the bike???

For posterity sake so that my third son doesn't read this years from now and think that his mother didn't want him, and because I am feeling guilty for sounding so ungrateful....I must say that I am over the shock and am feeling at peace that we were meant to have another boy in our home, and what a blessing he is going to be in our lives.  I'm looking at the upsides of our situation and there are quite a few.  I always wanted to be the only girl and have all brothers (although now I can't imagine life without my sister, but shhhh don't tell Kylie that).  She will never have to share a room or clothes, she'll always be a little spoiled and get extra attention and she'll always have brothers to look out for her.  Jason is excited to have "his boys" to take on snowboarding trips, lake trips and campouts, and they will have so much fun making memories and bonding together (and meanwhile Kylie and I will enjoy shopping, getting our nails done and watching chick flicks in a quiet house while they're gone).  And there's also the emotional rollercoaster that comes with girls, but that goes without saying. I've also decided that I don't need to feel the pressure to try for one more just incase it might be a girl.  As much as I want a sister for Kylie, I realized that even if the next one is a girl, there will be like 11 years between them and they really won't have that much in common.  My sister and I are so close because we are only a year apart and have always been in the same stage of life together.  So I will just have to be the mom and sister that she never had and be grateful that we have such a close relationship.  So there you go, I still think it was okay to be sad for a day (although Jason thought that it was mean :) but I got it all out of my system and now I can honestly say that I am excited and grateful for a new little boy and the joy that he will bring.

So it's a boy.  And here's the deal: I am so grateful that he is healthy, I am so grateful to be pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy,  and I am so grateful that I already have a girl, and I love my boys and couldn't imagine life without them, but darn it I'm a little sad too.  I'm sad because Kylie wants and needs a sister so bad.  She said she couldn't sleep at all last night because she kept thinking about all the fun things they would do together...share a room, wear matching clothes, paint nails...and I'm sad that she's sad.  I'm sad because there are so many adorable little girl clothes and accessories that I've been dying to buy.  I'm sad because after making hundreds of hats for other people's baby girls I've been dying to make one for my own.  I'm sad because my friend has the cutest baby girl hand me downs that she said I could have.  All that stuff seems trivial but I'm also sad for other reasons.  I'm sad because I'm worried that once they get married I'll lose my boys.  It's natural to spend more time with the wife's family and when she has a baby it's her mom she's going to want to have there, not her mother in law.  I'm sad because for 6 years I'll have boys on missions and will be worried sick about them on the other side of the world.  I'm sad because I am feeling very inadequate when it comes to boys.  I feel pressure to raise these valiant "stripling warriors" in these last days and I'm worried that I won't provide the spiritual background that they need to become strong priesthood leaders and missionaries in these challenging days. I'm sad because I don't know if I can be an eagle scout mom three times over, that's alot of projects!  I'm sad because I wanted to be done.  Today I was supposed to pack up all my baby boy stuff and start getting excited for the next stage of life, but now I'm wondering if we should try for one more (for Kylie's sake as much as my own). So today I am allowing myself to be sad and tomorrow I can be excited to have another little momma's boy that will melt my heart just like my other boys.

Kylie REALLY needs a baby sister and tomorrow is when we find out if her (and my) wish will come true, or if she'll have to subject yet another brother to her beauty salon.  Keeping our fingers crossed!! 

New Years 2010

I have been so excited for this trip.  My parents moved to Cedar City (well Enoch to be precise) last summer and this was the first time that all 10 of us siblings would be together in about 3 years and the first time we've spent the Christmas holidays with my parents in about 6 years.  Quite naturally I was more than a little bitter that I spent the entire trip bonding with the kleenex box instead of my family.  As miserable as it was being sick on vacation I must say they all took mighty good care of me and it was nice being pampered the whole week...massages, steaming baths in the jetted tub with aromatherapy candles, fluffy robes, hot chocolate delivered at my beck and call, watching kids while I napped, buying my favorite candy at the store along with travel size kleenex so that I wouldn't have to steal yards of toilet paper from the public restrooms when we were out...you would think I was at a world class resort and spa. One of my brothers had to fly out the day before one of my sisters flew in, so it was sad we couldn't all be together for a picture, but 9 out of 10 isn't bad. I was definately not at the top of my game and this picture is the epitome of "life in the hoodie" for me. I lived in my sweats and hoodie and it was funny because everyone always commented that I looked more pregnant when I was wearing my jacket. It's amazing how one pocket full of an economy pack of cherry Halls and another filled with wadded up tissues can add atleast a month onto your pregnant belly.

Something about posing for the first edition "Men of Pickle Ball" calendar??...

Enough of the pity party, afterall this week wasn't all about me (only most of it).  The kids had so much fun hanging out with their cousins. They lived in the basement recreating the North Pole, building forts out of boxes and who knows what else (every grandma needs a basement, it was the only way all 25 + of us could stay in the same house and not go crazy).  They showered once the entire week, brushed their teeth twice and I'm not sure if they ever changed their underwear. They only surfaced only when it was time to eat, but eating is something us Jolleys know how to do well.  I just love the hustle and bustle of such a big family, there was a constant happy noise.  Growing up it was often times crazy, but I can't imagine it any other way and it is so fun to have so many cousins and aunts/uncles for my kids to play with.

 Maddox thought Tyson was the best Christmas present ever.  Along with the brown doorstoppers that he collected throughout the house and affectionately named his "chocolate boats". And the flipping race car grandma bought for him.  And the little mini wagon grandma had and was nice enough to let him take home. And he insisted on sleeping with all his treasures every night.

 Jason was going to take the kids snowboarding but it was going to be -5 degrees so he opted to take my brothers instead.  After seeing the wind burn on his face afterwards I think it was a smart decision.  Apparently Todd's 5th grade rainbow delight snowsuit didn't quite cut it, but after he rounded up some more appropriate attire he did an awesome job on his first snowboarding trip.

New Years eve was fun, we made homemade pizzas and played games all night while snacking on tons of goodies.  I think everyone made it until midnight, even the kids who were watching movies in the basement. 

The boys had a little more girl talk than they could handle...

I was so excited to experience a "real" winter, all snuggled up by the fire sipping hot cocoa.  I must have forgotten that once the fire dies down and the last sip of hot cocoa is gone then it is freakin' freezing! I also had high aspirations of taking the kids sledding but it's not possible to have my 70 degree weather and snow at the same time.  I couldn't go outside long enough to even take pictures of them and incase you had forgotten, I'll remind you that I was sick :) and Jason and the boys were busy playing Pickle Ball (yeah, huh???), going shooting, watching football games and even went on a manly day out to see "True Grit".  The girls fit in some shopping, chick flicks and took the kids to see "Tangled", but we were mostly content to stay inside where it was warm and just hang out talking.   

It was so good to see everyone.  I must say that I definately lucked out in the family department, this house was filled with my favorite people in the world.  Here's to a wonderful 2011, happy new year!!