What I don't like about being a mom
Bring on the poopy diapers, the throw up and the lack of sleep, I was prepared for that. What I wasn't prepared for was being the one responsible for making decisions for my kids that will affect the rest of their lives. I had major internal conflicts over the whole immunization issue. I never worried about it with Kylie and Jayden, but with Maddox I had heard so many more horror stories and read so many controversial articles that it left me torn. Either immunize and my kid could get autism, or don't immunize and my kid could get a life threatening disease. It's the first time when I really felt totally inadequate to be making those kind of decisions. I wanted somebody else to be the mom and tell me what to do (I did end up immunizing but I think I'll hold off on the MMR until after he's 2). The next big decision that has left me torn is what to do about Jayden for school next year. He barely makes the deadline with an August birthday, but ever since the day he was born I knew I wanted to hold him back a year so that he wouldn't struggle being the youngest in the class. I had the perfect little plan to send him to half day kindergarten at a local school then transfer him to Kylie's school the following year for all day kindergarten. I got him accepted for open enrollment at the other school and all was fine and dandy until Kylie's principal told me that with all the budget cuts they are no longer allowing students to repeat a grade unless they have an IEP stating that academically they need to be held back. He's been to two years of preschool already and is ready for something more, but I don't feel like he's ready for all day kindergarten, especially at Kylie's school which has a challenging curriculum. He was excited about kindergarten and would be crushed if he had to do another year of preschool (since apparently that's for babies). I wouldn't even know where to send him since he's been in the speech preschool. I felt like my only option was to enroll him at Kylie's school, but I just didn't feel confident about my decision. Once again, could somebody just please tell me what to do! (love ya Jason, but "I don't know, what ever you decide" doesn't help much :) I know it's just kindergarten and doesn't seem like such a big deal, but if I do send him then he'll be the last to drive, the last to date and if I don't send him then he'll go straight on his mission right after graduation and things like that. So today I think I finally came up with a solution to enroll him at a charter school so that the public school won't be paying for 2 years of kindergarten and I can still have him repeat next year. I think I feel good about my decision, but it just makes me think about all the other life changing decisions that lay ahead. I love my kids so much and I just want to be confident that I am making the best decisions for them. Being a mom is like one continual guilt trip, if we're not worrying about one thing then it's another. If only all those parenting books and classes would have prepared me for this.
8 hours ago