Thursday, October 28, 2010

Signs

Cold cereal is my life line.
My usually not so good sense of smell is in overdrive.
My emotions are a wreck.
I cracked open the tums for the first time in 2 years.
I wake up at 3 AM to eat cereal.
My favorite pasta dish made me throw up.
Maddox is constantly lifting up my shirt to look in my belly button.
I couldn't ride any of the big roller coasters.
Even the little roller coasters made me sick.
My weekly cleaning day has been pushed back to every other week.
Kylie has to plug my nose for me when I press garlic.
I can't kiss Jason unless he brushes his teeth.
I love the excuse to not fast.

Yep. #4 is on its way, and we are thrilled.

I went in for my first appointment today and they couldn't find the heartbeat. First the nurse tried. Then the doctor. Then the nurse started rubbing my leg sympathetically and handing me tissues.  The doctor tried to sound optimistic but I could tell he was concerned and ordered a vitality check ultrasound. I just wanted everyone to leave so that I could cry.  It seemed like an eternity while I waited for the ultrasound.  I tried studying up on Allure's version of the sexiest new styles for Fall so that I could distract myself from crying. It didn't help, I just kept thinking about how I was going to tell the kids and how I wanted Jason to hop on the next plane back from Vegas.  Finally they walked me down to the ultrasound room as I tried to avoid all the sympathetic smiles I got from everyone I passed in the halls.  They found the heartbeat.  I could have hugged the technician.  I must have just ovulated late that month because the baby is measuring 9 days smaller than it should and that's why they couldn't find the heartbeat.  I don't care that my due date got pushed back. I'm having a baby.  My heart aches for anyone who has had a miscarriage.  The heartwrench I felt in that short period of time was so difficult and I can't imagine the pain of really going through with it.  So while I am more than grateful that this little bean will be coming into our family around June 13th, today I am also sympathetic for those who have experienced a loss.  Motherhood is an emotional rollercoaster that you get on from day one and never ever get off.

15 comments:

Melissa and Trevor said...

wow! congrats!

Tyson and Dawn Jolley said...

The never ending train of pregnant women in the Jolley family continues! Thanks for pushing my turn back some more :)
Congrats! I can't wait to find out what you're having! You're finding out...right?

Pays said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pays said...

How fun!! Congratulations!! It will be fun to have your sister Janessa pregnant with you at the same time. Miscarriages are not fun and I'm glad that you don't have to go through one. Good luck with everything!!

Diana said...

Congrats, Jamie. So sorry you're sick and hate that you had those moments of fear and sadness. I've never had one but it's always my number one fear. In fact, I haven't posted anything about it but it's not a secret either--somehow there was an accident on our end and we're expecting #4, too. Scary--Christian will be nearly 13 months when I'm due. But while I'm afraid of that, when I had my first appointment a few weeks ago and the dr. laughed and asked if I wanted an ultrasound I of course did just to be sure everything looked normal. I ovulated late too and was a few days off on my calculations. Anyway, congrats and I hope you're not sick for too much longer!

Chelsea said...

Oh my goodness! what in the world! how scary!! Soooo happy to hear it ended well.

Janessa said...

I read this post yesterday after I talked to you on the phone but I just realized that I didn't leave a comment. So, for the record... I'm SO grateful everything ended up being okay. I'm so sorry that you had to go through all that. That stinks that your due date got pushed back, but considering the alternative, it's a minor inconvenience. I'm SO excited to get another little chinesee niece or nephew. You guys sure do make 'em cute! Hope you get feeling better soon. Wish I was there to help out! Love you!!!

Jodee said...

That is scary! I am sorry Jame. I hope the rest of this pregnancy is smooth sailing! And yay for being preggers with Janessa, that will be fun! love you, take care and stock pile that cereal!

Michelle Y. said...

I am SO happy for you Jamie. It is the very best news to hear/see a heartbeat!

Heidi said...

Jamie what exciting news! Holy cow my heart sank as I started to read your story. I had a day like that. It was awful so I'm glad that yours ended so happily. Congratulations to you guys. You have such cute babies. I can't wait to see what #4 looks like.

Suni said...

A roller coaster for sure! So happy for you, congrats!!!

thoughts said...

Congratulations!! I am so happy for you, Jason and the kids on #4. Is Kylie asking for a baby girl? We are also expecting, I am due April 22. You'll have to share some tips on juggling a toddler and a newborn :)

Renae S. said...

Yay for you guys! So happy for you to have another cutie pie in your family! I hope you get feeling better SOON!!!

Cammi said...

I'm so happy for you guys! You have such an adorable family and are a terrific mother. I look up to you :)

Carlie said...

Motherhood is quite the experience. Wouldn't miss it for anything. Very exciting for your fourth! Congratulations!