Tuesday, January 11, 2011

For posterity sake so that my third son doesn't read this years from now and think that his mother didn't want him, and because I am feeling guilty for sounding so ungrateful....I must say that I am over the shock and am feeling at peace that we were meant to have another boy in our home, and what a blessing he is going to be in our lives.  I'm looking at the upsides of our situation and there are quite a few.  I always wanted to be the only girl and have all brothers (although now I can't imagine life without my sister, but shhhh don't tell Kylie that).  She will never have to share a room or clothes, she'll always be a little spoiled and get extra attention and she'll always have brothers to look out for her.  Jason is excited to have "his boys" to take on snowboarding trips, lake trips and campouts, and they will have so much fun making memories and bonding together (and meanwhile Kylie and I will enjoy shopping, getting our nails done and watching chick flicks in a quiet house while they're gone).  And there's also the emotional rollercoaster that comes with girls, but that goes without saying. I've also decided that I don't need to feel the pressure to try for one more just incase it might be a girl.  As much as I want a sister for Kylie, I realized that even if the next one is a girl, there will be like 11 years between them and they really won't have that much in common.  My sister and I are so close because we are only a year apart and have always been in the same stage of life together.  So I will just have to be the mom and sister that she never had and be grateful that we have such a close relationship.  So there you go, I still think it was okay to be sad for a day (although Jason thought that it was mean :) but I got it all out of my system and now I can honestly say that I am excited and grateful for a new little boy and the joy that he will bring.

4 comments:

Janessa said...

I tried calling you earlier to see how you are doing today but your line was busy. Then I took a nap and now the kids are home. Not ideal for a long phone call. I'll try and call you tomorrow. Anyway, I love the way you are so open and honest in your posts. I'm glad to hear that you are feeling better about your baby boy. I think you were allowed a day of sadness though. I'll bet Jason and "the boys" will have lots of fun together. Ricky can't wait to take his boys out to do manly stuff too. I can't imagine not having you as my sister. My life would be a lot different. Kylie is a very lucky girl though to have such a wonderful and understanding mom. You two are going to have a lot of fun and a very close relationship as she grows up. You also forgot in your list of ups that he's going to have like a dozen little boy cousins to play with...once a year, or so. Just think of all the fun Parker and Jayden had together then times it by three with Connor and Maddox and now our two baby boys (plus the others boy cousins). We've just got to figure out a way to all see each other more often:) Plus you guys make awefully cute baby boys! I can't wait to see another little Jayden/Maddox running around!

Jodee said...

It's hard when you know how amazing it is to have a sister so close to you. I wanted that for Madison too but her and Grace are going to be 7 years apart... Oh well, you are finding some really great up-sides, having one girl to do all that girly stuff with will be a blast!!! How is Kylie taking the news?

nicole said...

It's okay to be a little sad. And you never have to tell this sweet little boy how you felt at first. He'll never see this blog, right? :) Unfortunately for us, we have it recorded on the DVD that the doctor made for us. When the technition said Maggie was a girl, the first thing Jonny said was, are you sure?

DAVE AND CANDACE BOLLARD said...

Are you saying that you are officially done after this? I think it's totally ok to feel whatever you want to feel and how can you deal with something like that with all the crazy pregnancy hormones going through you anyway? I loved being the only girl for all the reasons you mentioned.