Sunday, February 06, 2011

Guilt and inspiration

"Parents, remember that now is your opportunity.  You may feel yourself harassed as you struggle through the days with children, but you are living the happiest and the most golden years of your life. As you tuck them into their beds at night, please be kind to them.  Let them hear a calm voice amid all the angry, vile voices they will hear throughout life.  Let there be an anchor to which these little ones can turn when all else fails.  The Lord help you so to do...."

-Harold B. Lee




I can't count how many times I've gone into their rooms to tuck them in after they've fallen asleep and then immediately went into my room with a guilty conscience and prayed for forgiveness for screaming at them all day long. I came across this quote a couple of days ago and it has been on my mind ever since.  I thought tonight was an appropriate time to post it, considering I lost it (again) with my kids at bedtime.A while ago I remember reading a talk that was geared towards mothers.  It gave the suggestion that instead of feeling overwhelmed and helpless, that you start by focusing on one part of the day that you struggle the most with.  The lady giving the talk said her hard time was buckling the young kids in the car, when they arch their backs and cry.  She focused on just that one aspect and made a conscious effort to stay calm and turn it into a positive experience.  I thought that was so simple, yet such a great idea.  There are so many times throughout the day that I snap, but I narrowed it down to the top three: the morning rush, homework time and bedtime and I've really been trying to be more patient during those times. It takes alot of work, but I want them to always feel like our home is a safe haven from the outside world and I know that yelling at them is not the way to create that kind of an environment. With bedtime I've been reading with each of them then we alternate every other night with "talk times" where we just chat for a little bit about whatever is on their mind.  After the whole half hour routine you would think they would feel sufficiently loved, but they keep coming out of their rooms and that's when I lose it. I know losing my temper will always be a constant struggle, so I'm grateful for reminders like these.

5 comments:

Janessa said...

I love that quote! I'm going to have to copy it down and hang it on my mirror or something. Don't be too surprised if you see it pop up on my blog in the near future too:) I hear ya on the bed time thing. If I try really hard I can make the initial putting them to bed, a nice a peaceful experience for all. On the third and fourth time around it gets ugly though. Surely we we never like that as kids, right? Adorable pictures!

Tyler and Margaret said...

I am sitting here crying! I love that quote, such a good reminder. I only have 1 child and I loose my patience so fast and I wonder how I will keep my patience with multiple kids. This post had great suggestions! Thanks Jamie! I really look up to Tyler's older sisters as mothers and I love you guys.

Jodee said...

Thanks for the reminder Jame. That is a great quote. I have done that very same thing a time or two and it makes me so mad when I turn around and do it again. I am definitely grateful kids are such forgiving little creatures.

Michelle Y. said...

I LOVE that quote and I am so glad you did this post. I was just telling my sister that I just want to lay in bed w/ my kids and read them books but then I feel like I am rounding up a bunch of animals and I am so tired by the time I get them all in bed. I try to have quailty time w/ each one but I also feel SO emotionally and physically done by 8:30.

Carlie said...

well said. thank you. i needed the reminder as well.