Sunday, April 04, 2010

Easter 2010

I used to be a good mom. I used to do mommy preschool with Kylie 3 days a week. Now I can't even get through a homework session without getting frustrated. I used to plan outings several days a week. Now I just let them invite friends over so that they will keep them entertained and I don't have to. I used to plan craft projects. Now I pretend like I don't know they've been parked in front of the tv for 3 hours straight while I work on my own pointeless projects. I used to rock my kids before bed, reading them stories and singing them primary songs. Now I stick Maddox in bed with a bottle, relieved to have one down, two to go. I used to never yell at my kids. Now I lose my temper at the drop of a hat. I used to look forward to playing with my kids. Now I look forward to their nap time and bed time. I used to be a good mom. I really want to be a good mom again. Maybe I'm getting old and tired. Maybe 3 kids wear me out more. Maybe I shouldn't be looking for excuses. I've been thinking about this alot lately and I know I need to make a better effort to be with my kids. Not just be next to them, but be engaged with them, be on their level and really be there for them. There were so many great conference talks this weekend that focused on the importance of mothers, and once again I realized that I need to try harder and make sure that my kids are my first priority. Today I was a good mom. We made some great memories this Easter. It wasn't the 3 egg hunts we went to in one day, although they were fun (except for the Life Link mad house. One day a year we become honorary members of the Life Link church because they have the best egg hunt around, but I think they recruited about 1,000 new members and it was pure craziness).

It wasn't when I forgot to get a basket for Maddox and he had to borrow Kylie's pink basket. It definately wasn't when I got mad at Kylie for ruining Easter by whining about having the smallest basket (yes, I realize I should probably get new baskets next year :). then threatened that she would go back to bed if she didn't smile for the dang Easter picture.
It wasn't when I was too tired from our neighborhood party to be a decent Easter bunny and it ended up looking like the Easter Bunny just barfed up a bag of robin eggs in the family room. It wasn't when I told Kylie she was spoiled when she didn't even want to pick up the candy because the Easter bunny only brought 3 different kinds. (okay, so maybe I was a lame bunny this year). It wasn't when I let my kids eat candy 24 hrs a day. I might as well just hook them up to a sugar IV. It wasn't even when I let the kids fend for themselves while Jason, Maddox and I took a 2 hour nap between sessions. No, that's not when I was a good mom and hopefully those aren't the things we'll remember from this Easter. I was a good mom because I actually played with my kids. We took a family bike ride to the park and instead of sitting on the side and just watching, I got up and played. We played tag until we were exhausted, had swinging contests and Kylie taught me how to work the fireman pole. That girl has skills, I really could learn a thing or two from her :). We came home and ate a yummy Easter dinner then had a really meaningful Easter family home evening. We watched the "Finding Faith in Christ" DVD and it made me so happy to see how absorbed they were in it. They asked alot of questions and Kylie even got teary eyed during the crucifixion part. We had a little testimony meeting and it brought me such pure joy to hear their little testimonies. To know that at times I am a good mom, that I have taught them and they have listened even though at times it seems like it goes in one ear and out the other. After eating the traditional carrot cake (mmmmm) we donned our shoes and black light and headed out for the first official scorpion hunt of the season. It seems like a weird tradition, but the kids love it and Kylie even gave us a name, "the gutners, cause we get scorpion guts." Then it was bedtime, but instead of making them go to bed I let them stay up and we all played hide-and-go-seek in the dark until way past bedtime. It's the simple things that mean the most and those simple laughs meant alot to me today. Happy Easter.

10 comments:

Jodee said...

Happy Easter. Good thoughts Jame. And for what it's worth, I think you are an amazing mom. Didn't you just love conference? I thought it was just for me, I loved that.

Chelsea said...

Loved this post. Wish I could've been driving by during your mommy & me pole lessons ;) Can I borrow the DVD sometime? Now I've got guilt because my kids never bear their testimonies. Thanks.

Janessa said...

You are an AMAZING mom! We all fall short and it's easy to see our own short comings. You're so good to be aware of them and then work on them. There were so many wonerful mother/parent talks at conference. I went away feeling some guilt too but also with a resolve to do better. I'm so grateful for second (and third and fourth...) chances. You are a great example to me of being a fun mom. I need to go PLAY with my kids more. We'll have to go to the park tomorrow. I'm sure your kids will have many wonderful memories of this Easter. Thanks for the great post!

Heidi said...

Yeah I used to be a good mom too Jamie. I think I'm worn out too. You've got me thinking though, and I can do better. Plus, I'm pretty sure that carrot cake on Easter and bearing our testimonies to each other needs to be a tradition started in our house next year.

Bunch of Brooks' said...

You ARE a great mom...are you kidding?? I've been struggling with the same thing. Wanting to be better at the things that count, not all the fluff! I LOVE it when my kids get a long, know scripture stories that I don't even know really well, or are just plain thoughtful and well-behaved kids. Then I feel like I've done a great job. It's hard in this world to keep up with everything that's put on our plate and so that's what's so awesome about the great talks we just heard on what we should be REALLY focusing on. Good Luck with your improvement Jamie...I'm in the same boat:)

Amber! said...

I go through this every six months or so. I think we have to get the tired old mom out of our system to be a good mom the majority of the time. And my bad mom moments are usually when Grayson goes off track. Like now! :) Try 6 hours of T.V.......

nicole said...

TV keeps me sane in the evenings :) I think you are a great mom and I couldn't stop laughing at the picture of the easter candy that was "barfed" all over the family room. Please don't be so hard on yourself. You and Janessa are my mom role models.

Renae said...

I loved this post! I think we all feel like that at times! And yes, there's a huge difference between having one kid and having three and the energy we have! :)

And can I say that I LOVE all your DIY projects! You are talented, girl! I love all of them. Your house is so beautiful!

Suni said...

Thanks for the great reminder to "be in the moment!!" and seriously you are such a FUN mom!

DAVE AND CANDACE BOLLARD said...

I know what you mean! Lately I have had the same thoughts. But when you really think about it, aren't we being good moms by raising independent, social children. I truly believe that it will help them to get out on their own and not lean on mom and dad forever. Plus, you are a Super MOM! I pale in comparison to you. We really want to see you guys again. Let us know when you are going to be in town or if you are going to be in Vegas.