Friday, March 11, 2011

The park incident

I'm trying to decide if I was being a really good mom or a really bad mom.  I took the boys to the park while Kylie was at activity days a couple of blocks away.  I lost track of time and when I checked the clock I realized I was already late picking her up.  I told Jayden atleast 6 times that it was time to go, I made 3 different trips to the car loading up sand toys, flip flops, water bottles and Maddox, each time telling Jayden to get in the car.  Finally I'm loaded up, the car is on and he is still playing in the sand.  I'm yelling out the window at him that I'm leaving, and every other kid on the playground looks at me but him.  So I did it.  I drove away.  I knew I would only be gone a couple of minutes and that he needed to learn his lesson about being obedient.  I was gone no more than 4 minutes but when I came back he was standing there sobbing as another dad in the ward was trying to help him.  When I saw him crying so hard that he could barely breathe, not only did I worry that the dad would call CPS (and I'm sure he also vowed right then and there to never let his kids play at our house), but I worried that maybe that wasn't the best way to teach him the lesson. Several times throughout the rest of the evening his little eyes would spill over with tears and he would remind me how scared he was.  As I tucked him into bed that night his little chin started quivering and he told me that I had broken his heart. I love that boy and he was breaking mine. We had a good talk about consequences and hopefully he will learn from this and listen the next time I tell him that it's time to go, either that or he'll suffer from post traumatic stress disorder and seperation anxiety.  Good moms follow through with their threats, good moms let their kids learn through natural consequences, good moms make their kids learn the hard lessons in life, so if I did the things that a good mom should then why do I feel so rotten?

8 comments:

Melissa and Trevor said...

don't feel rotten! you did teach him a lesson of obedience and one day you can laugh about all of this!

Heidi said...

Nope, don't feel rotten. You did the right thing. Sometimes they have to learn the hard way. You're an awesome mom Jamie!

Janessa said...

It is so hard to watch your kiddos learn some of life's hard lessons through natural consequences. In the end, the lessons they learn can benifit them so much. I've left slow kids at home in the morning while I take kids that are ready to school. I come back to a very sad child that is upset that they have to go to school and check in late, but they do learn from it and are much quicker getting ready in the mornings (at least for a while until the lesson is learned again.) I know that Jayden knows he is very loved by his mama and in the long run, he will love and respect you more for sticking to what you say you will do. You're awesome!

Heidi Ann said...

I love this story! Sadly, the boy deserved what he got and hopefully he's learned his lesson and it's the last time he'll be left anywhere!

Tyson and Dawn Jolley said...

If you dont follow through with your threats, your kids will just take advantage of you. I think it was a good lesson for Jayden to learn (although quite embarrassing that another dad from your ward took him under his wing, lol) But, now he knows to take you seriously and he knows you're the one in charge, not him! You're still and awesome mom!

Cammi said...

This reminds me of our Love & Logic classes ... they taught that you WANT your kids to make mistakes when they are young. You give them choices, and hope they make the wrong one, so they will learn NOW about consequences. Later in life, the consequences get bigger and more dangerous. So, good job! Also, the fact that you feel so bad about it is proof enough that you are doing the very best thing - LOVING him.

Have you seen Mars Needs Moms? It might be a good date for you and Jayden. :) I took my boys to see it yesterday.

Chelsea said...

aw, it never feels good when we hurt their feelings. BUT we are doing whats best in the long run by following through. pushover parents raise insecure kids.

glad he didn't get kidnapped ;)

Jodee said...

i don't think he will be doing that again!
i think it's great. he's safe, he's going to listen to you next time, and now you have less of a chance that you will get asked to babysit in the future!
love you jame!