The Young and the Restless

30 weeks

It's about time this belly made a debut on the blog. With Maddox I did a belly shot every single month (bare belly too, mind you), after 4 years I felt like I was pregnant for my first time all over again. With this one I feel like I birthed Maddox just last month and the novelty of a round belly has worn off quickly.  In some ways 10 weeks still feels like soooo far away.  10 more weeks of tossing and turning all night. 10 more weeks of heartburn. 10 more weeks of pretending like I can fit into my clothes because I have a severe aversion to maternity clothes. 10 more weeks of grunting every time I bend over. 10 more weeks of emotional meltdowns....but at the same time 10 weeks seems soooo close. Only 10 more weeks of only 3 kids. Only 10 more weeks before I'm up every 2 hours. Only 10 more weeks of eating whatever I want and not having to suck in.  Only 10 more weeks until I have to start thinking about getting back into shape. Only 10 more weeks before I can no longer blame those emotional meltdowns on pregnancy.  And in 10 more weeks I will no longer have to stare at that ultrasound picture hanging on my fridge and wonder what he will look like. In 10 weeks (maybe sooner? hopefully sooner?) I'll get to hold this little man for the first time and I seriously can not wait to meet him.  I'm having such mixed emotions because we are 99% sure this is going to be the last.  I'm excited and sad to never be pregnant again and I am excited to never go through labor again but so sad to never have that moment where you get to hold your baby for the first time again.  I spent all day going through Kylie's old clothes.  Being the extreme opposite of a pack rat, I thought I would be so excited to get rid of the clutter and extra boxes so I was surprised at how emotional it was.  They're not just clothes, they're memories.  The outfit she wore home from the hospital, what she wore when she took her first step, what she wore on her first birthday and so many adorable dresses that I have been anxious to have another little girl to wear. But there are definately advantages of moving on to the next stage of life, so for now I'll just have to focus on those.  As far as names go, I'm really pushing for Ryder.  I think Jason likes it more than he'll admit.  He can't come up with anything better, I just think he has commitment issues.  I'll probably wait until I'm in labor when he's overcome with sympathy of watching me push out his 4th child, then I'll convince him that Ryder it is. Anyways...here's to hoping these next 10 weeks just fly right by!