The Young and the Restless

Easter 2010

I used to be a good mom. I used to do mommy preschool with Kylie 3 days a week. Now I can't even get through a homework session without getting frustrated. I used to plan outings several days a week. Now I just let them invite friends over so that they will keep them entertained and I don't have to. I used to plan craft projects. Now I pretend like I don't know they've been parked in front of the tv for 3 hours straight while I work on my own pointeless projects. I used to rock my kids before bed, reading them stories and singing them primary songs. Now I stick Maddox in bed with a bottle, relieved to have one down, two to go. I used to never yell at my kids. Now I lose my temper at the drop of a hat. I used to look forward to playing with my kids. Now I look forward to their nap time and bed time. I used to be a good mom. I really want to be a good mom again. Maybe I'm getting old and tired. Maybe 3 kids wear me out more. Maybe I shouldn't be looking for excuses. I've been thinking about this alot lately and I know I need to make a better effort to be with my kids. Not just be next to them, but be engaged with them, be on their level and really be there for them. There were so many great conference talks this weekend that focused on the importance of mothers, and once again I realized that I need to try harder and make sure that my kids are my first priority. Today I was a good mom. We made some great memories this Easter. It wasn't the 3 egg hunts we went to in one day, although they were fun (except for the Life Link mad house. One day a year we become honorary members of the Life Link church because they have the best egg hunt around, but I think they recruited about 1,000 new members and it was pure craziness).

It wasn't when I forgot to get a basket for Maddox and he had to borrow Kylie's pink basket. It definately wasn't when I got mad at Kylie for ruining Easter by whining about having the smallest basket (yes, I realize I should probably get new baskets next year :). then threatened that she would go back to bed if she didn't smile for the dang Easter picture.
It wasn't when I was too tired from our neighborhood party to be a decent Easter bunny and it ended up looking like the Easter Bunny just barfed up a bag of robin eggs in the family room. It wasn't when I told Kylie she was spoiled when she didn't even want to pick up the candy because the Easter bunny only brought 3 different kinds. (okay, so maybe I was a lame bunny this year). It wasn't when I let my kids eat candy 24 hrs a day. I might as well just hook them up to a sugar IV. It wasn't even when I let the kids fend for themselves while Jason, Maddox and I took a 2 hour nap between sessions. No, that's not when I was a good mom and hopefully those aren't the things we'll remember from this Easter. I was a good mom because I actually played with my kids. We took a family bike ride to the park and instead of sitting on the side and just watching, I got up and played. We played tag until we were exhausted, had swinging contests and Kylie taught me how to work the fireman pole. That girl has skills, I really could learn a thing or two from her :). We came home and ate a yummy Easter dinner then had a really meaningful Easter family home evening. We watched the "Finding Faith in Christ" DVD and it made me so happy to see how absorbed they were in it. They asked alot of questions and Kylie even got teary eyed during the crucifixion part. We had a little testimony meeting and it brought me such pure joy to hear their little testimonies. To know that at times I am a good mom, that I have taught them and they have listened even though at times it seems like it goes in one ear and out the other. After eating the traditional carrot cake (mmmmm) we donned our shoes and black light and headed out for the first official scorpion hunt of the season. It seems like a weird tradition, but the kids love it and Kylie even gave us a name, "the gutners, cause we get scorpion guts." Then it was bedtime, but instead of making them go to bed I let them stay up and we all played hide-and-go-seek in the dark until way past bedtime. It's the simple things that mean the most and those simple laughs meant alot to me today. Happy Easter.