The Young and the Restless

Day 4: Belize City, Belize

I thought we were going to die in Belize. For reals. We were excited to visit the Altun ha Mayan ruins, but our tour guide was a maniac. We were packed into a 15 passanger van with many large, hairy, sweaty men, a pregnant lady and zero air circulation. I got stuck in the back, which did not do wonders for my claustrophobia and even Jason was sweating. And chinamen don't sweat.

The road there is only wide enough for one vehicle and our tour guide informed us that it's sort of a "survival of the fittest" where the biggest vehicle gets the right of way. There were many times we were playing chicken when the vehicles were both the same size. Not only was it a tiny road, but it was covered with pot holes and sharp turns and I don't think our driver ever took his foot off the gas, even when we were flying over crocodile infested rivers on rickety bridges. I white knuckled it the whole way and I think Jason was emberassed because I kept screaming. We finally made it alive and it was gorgeous. It was pretty amazing standing on these structures that were built by hand thousands of years ago, especially knowing that this was during the Book of Mormon time period. I soaked up all the history and wanted to learn more. We learned about the different plants they used to cure sickness, the way they would gather in the courtyard to trade goods and the way that they would worship their gods and kings. It was all so fascinating. A baby crocodile that local kids had caught and used to earn money (everytime I make a kissing face it looks like a cross between an old lady, a sour lemon face and a fish face. I even practice in the mirror, no I'm not kidding, but I can never get that luscious lip look. Oh well.)

A 10 lb jade head was found in a tomb inside this pyramid. It's the largest single jade carving in the world. The view from the top is amazing as you look across all the surrounding jungles.

Carvings of the Sun God (top) and one of their kings (bottom)So as I'm looking through these pictures I'm realizing that I do the exact same pose in all the pictures. After realizing how flabby my arms look when they're down, I've adopted this new tradmark pose so get used to it. The tour promised a "jungle walk" which we found out consisted of stepping 2 feet into the jungle before our tour guide told us it was too dangerous to go farther because of the jaguars and boa constrictors.

So on our way back after the ruins I made sure to sit in the front of the van, which may not have been a better idea because now I had a front row view to our near death experiences. I even saw the look of death on a guy's face who we came within inches of running over. There were a group of guys on bikes in the road. Our driver layed on the horn but kept on accelerating to 60 mph then at the last minute one of the guys rode right in front of us and I still don't know how we avoided hitting him (and I have my doubts that the driver would have even stopped if we had). This time I wasn't the only one screaming and I thought the pregnant lady was going to go into labor. Our tour guide was so kind to then take us on a tour of his hood. He thought he was doing us a favor by giving us the "inside tour" and slummin' it in places beyond the safe zone that the government felt were too dangerous for tourists. He said it was comparable to Harlem or Compton, but worse. The police force there have adopted the slogan "shoot first, ask questions later". After all the news stories about how dangerous it is in Mexico with all the drug violence, I felt like we were driving around with a target painted on our van full of "rich" Americans. If you're interested, I now know where the Bloods, Crypts and Cartel all live. I thought about my kids alot that day and was a little relieved to get back on the tender boat headed safely to the ship. We have heard from so many people how gorgeous Belize is and how it's their favorite place. The ruins were cool, but I don't feel like we experienced the real beauty of the country. I would especially love to explore their world famous snorkeling sites or do the zipline tours through the jungle. I guess we've got a good excuse to go back now.